In the gardens of Chateau Bourron
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In the gardens of Chateau Bourron |
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have
the event. We spent the December holidays apart – Cecilia in Bolivia
with her mother, and me in the States with my family. We returned
from the break knowing that we had to decide quickly if we expected to
have the wedding anytime in 2003. We debated the “big picture” issues,
starting with choice of continent. With the input of our friends
and family, we ultimately decided that we lived in and liked France, and
that we should have the wedding there. We brainstormed the idea of
having the wedding in a castle, but never thought that we could afford
it or actually make it happen in a foreign country. We had trouble
enough just ordering delivery sushi over the phone! We spent the
first few weeks of January searching the web for chateaus that hosted weddings,
and surprisingly found that several looked affordable and had well organized
websites – our idea was still in contention. We had mapped out a
route for the weekend to visit four chateaus that we thought looked best.
We dressed, packed an overnight bag, and walked down to the Hertz rental
car location just next to our house. We picked up our rental car
and were on the road by 8am.
We started our search just an hour outside Paris, at the Chateau
Bourron, located in the small village of Bourron-Marlotte in the
Fontainebleau forest. We parked the car outside the chateau wall
and walked across the frozen grass to the gate. We met M. Cordon,
the chateau proprietor, and he welcomed us with a tour of the grounds and
interior of the chateau. We were very impressed, but really
did not know what to expect, since it was our first stop on the tour.
Plus in January the forest was barren, the chateau was closed for the winter,
and there were no leaves on any of the tress. We tried to imagine
what an outdoor garden wedding would look like, but it was difficult to
imagine a quiet fall afternoon ceremony under the long line of lime trees,
or a warm night reception with candles floating in the moat, or dinner
with the windows open. We thanked M. Cordon, left the village, and
drove south towards Chateau Esclimont, our next stop on our tour, about
halfway to the Loire Valley.
By the end of the weekend we had examined four chateaus, and had driven
past countless more. From everything that we had seen we
still thought that the first chateau was the best. We favored
not only the physical building and grounds but the attitude of the owner.
Other chateaus had strict rules and regulations - where you are allowed,
where you are not allowed, where you must have the ceremony, where you
must have the reception, etc. etc. It stifled any individual creativity
or freethinking! M. Cordon explained the limits of the property,
but did not try to dictate what could or could not be done. He merely
stated that we would have the entire chateau to our disposal for the wedding,
and that we could, within reason, do whatever we wanted. We were
sold.
A week after our first visit we called M. Cordon and told him that we would like the chateau for our wedding, and chose September 20th for the date. Our theory was that the date was late enough in September to help reduce international flight prices to non-peak rates, but still early enough in the fall to increase the chances of good weather. Coincidentally (really it was), the wedding date was also Cecilia’s birthday.
Many of the other major wedding tasks were made simple after our choice of chateau - M. Cordon worked with a local DJ for the party music, and was able to supply lists of local hotels, florists, taxi services, etc. There is a restaurant located just adjacent to the chateau called Les Premices, and it had recently received very good reviews from several Paris critics. M. Cordon heavily recommended the restaurant to cater the event (I'm not sure what would have happened if we had refused), and after a brief review of the menu and ensuing discussion with the chef, we happily agreed.
By the end of January we felt relived that we had found a great location
for the wedding, and that we had reserved all of the major
"showstoppers" for the event. The wedding was still eight months
away, and by early February we had refocused our energies on other
things - work, skiing, running, and our upcoming bike trip in Sweden
and Norway. Some images from the chateau hunt:
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Biking
& Running, Our Time in Fontainebleau Before the Event
During April & May we spent an incredible amount of time planning various logistics of our biking trip in Scandinavia. We had no time to even think about the wedding. The trip planning paid off, and we had a problem-free bike journey across Sweden and Norway. Upon returning from the bike trip in late-June, I felt that the wedding planning would be a piece of cake compared to the trip. I would soon find out how wrong I was.
I kept a wedding "to do" list on my computer, which I checked more and
more frequently as the end of July approached. By mid-August, with
6 weeks to go, this to do list seemed to rule every moment of my life outside
(and often during) work. It grew to monstrous proportions!
I originally felt that because I did not care about many of the little
things, ranging from napkins to candles to the first dance, it would make
the planning that much easier. But what I did not realize is that
even though I did not care about these things, I still would be required
to spend time discussing and choosing them with the various wedding contractors.
For example, the caterer refused to decide on his own which napkin design
was best - someone had to take the time to tell him, and that someone had
to be Cecilia or I. Luckily we split the work pretty well, and managed
to make the best of all the decisions.
different
zip codes, also called arrondissements in French. We live in the
15th arrondissement, or 75015. Each arrondissement has its own governing
group, mayor, and municipal offices. You must marry in your own mayor’s
office, and by the mayor in person! There is a significant amount
of paperwork that must competed in advance, and the magnitude and difficulty
of the paperwork increases exponentially for a non-French couple.
Cecilia started the process about four months in advance, which should
have been more than enough time to get everything done. Incredibly
enough, it took us six visits to the mayor’s office until our paperwork
was approved. Each visit usually ended with another emergency situation
that would require overnight mailing and numerous phone calls to manage
administrative red tape all over the world, ranging from birth certificates
in Bolivia to Apostille stamps in Illinois. Foreign statements
of celibacy, French translations of foreign statements of celibacy, etc.
etc. Here is what bothered me the most – the office attempts to make
the rules clear by publishing the rules and regulations for getting married.
Unfortunately certain small details are omitted, and in the case of a marriage
any small detail can be a showstopper. To make matters even worse,
a document that looked OK and was approved on the first or second visit
was no longer acceptable on the third visit, due to the increasing strictness
of the paperwork inspection. We could have taken care of all our
problems with one international FedEx, but instead we were forced to do
everything in series. Fortunately we had both of our mothers back
at home doing the legal legwork work for us, and rushing to get everything
completed and sent back in time. Thanks to Pat and Nancy for all
of their hard work from afar. After over two months of frustration,
on our seventh visit to the mayor’s office, and after an unreasonable and
inconsistent level of scrutiny, they accepted our application. But
even to the very last minute they were reluctant to approve and move ahead,
as they were sure that something must be missing or wrong in the file.
With two weeks to go, despite our triumphant paperwork success at the
mayor’s office, the size of my to do list actually began the increase.
This phenomenon, which was a surprise, for the first time actually made
me feel stressed. We were now in full work mode, the coordination
level of Sweden-Norway trip long ago left behind, and we were moving towards
unfathomed new levels. Fortunately, by the time Cecilia's mother
and my parents arrived one week before the wedding, we had almost regained
control of the list. I went to work Monday and Tuesday before the
wedding, with the official ceremony scheduled for Wednesday. Thanks
to my team at work for their sympathy and help during those days before
the wedding – they made it much easier for me.
Official
French Ceremony
We went to our mayor’s office on a sunny and warm Wednesday afternoon,
took several pictures in the quaint square in front of the traditional
French government building, and entered the building. Cecilia’s mother
Nancy and her maid of honor Any disappeared for a few minutes and came
back with a flower bouquet for Cecilia. We were directed to the “Hall of
Marriages”, a high-ceiling room whose walls were adorned by gigantic paintings
of various old French countryside scenes, floor covered in thick red carpet,
and we sat in plush red felt chairs. It was far more impressive than
I expected. A government official entered (who I at first thought
was the mayor), along with the court recorder. After a few words
and hellos we were seated, awaiting the entrance of the major. Upon
the proud declaration of the official, the mayor entered and took HER position
behind the tall bench. She wore a stunning red sash across her chest,
and she welcomed us said a few kind words (in French) about visitors from
outside French. She proceeded with a short speech about the difference
of cultures and the importance of education, read a few short articles
from government literature, and then declared us husband and wife.
Cecilia and I and our witnesses together signed the official documents,
and the ceremony was over. We were married! We walked back
to the apartment, and enjoyed an early celebration dinner at home.
Eric & Christina arrived to join Ur as the non-family representatives,
and the festivities had officially begun. Some images from the day:
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(and me feigning interest)  |
Friends
Arrive & the Festivities Begin
Thursday day was spent finishing all the last-minute shopping and preparations,
and greeting the various people who arrived throughout the
afternoon. There were no hotel problems, flight delays, or other
complications - and the weather was still unusually warm and sunny.
Cecilia spent a whole six hours at CDG airport collecting several of her
family friends arriving from Sweden, and successfully guided them to Montparnasse
just before dinner.
With such a large and diverse group descending on Paris, we needed a
place to meet that was big enough and comfortable enough for everyone.
Some of the guests were visiting Europe for the first time, some even needed
to get a passport for the first time, so we needed a place that was easy
to recognize and find. We settled on the Eiffel Tower park, an easy
landmark even for the most novice of travelers, and a previous favorite
for picnics and a nice place to relax, eat, drink, and generally be merry.
Cecilia decided instead to go to dinner with her close family and their
friends who had arrived that day, including her uncle and aunt from Bolivia
and her childhood friend, Ale, from Chile. Once again I left the
guests early (at 1am), and once again they opted to spend a late night
in the Latin Quarter. For some it was their first taste of a Nutella-banana
crepe, one of my Parisian favorites. A few images from the night:
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Friday morning was a sleep-in for most of the group, after a late and
active night on the town. We met at 2pm at the Parc de la Villette
on the northeast side of Paris. We had reserved 60 spots on a
tourist cruise boat (Paris
Canal Cruises) through the St. Martin canal, onto the Seine, and ending
at
the Musee d'Orsay. Some of our late-arriving guests came directly
from the airport, including Steve and Tareen, Alex, and Chris, and loaded
their luggage right onto the boat. Many guests had trouble finding the
boat on time, which resulted in a few dramatic last-minute arrivals.
Gabi
& Javi, Cecilia's friends from Cochabamba, arrived just after the
boat had undocked and pulled away. After convincing the captain that
this
couple was in fact the bride and groom, he grudgingly pulled back close
enough to the dock for them to jump onto the front. With almost everyone
present, off we went down the canal.
Three hours later, after several canal locks, one tunnel, a clarinet
performance, a lot of diet cokes (or beers for some), and 100's of digital
pictures, we arrived at the Musee d'Orsay. Some of the group headed
directly back to the Montparnasse area for dinner or check-in into their
hotels. Another part of the group started walking directly to Coolin,
where we had planned an evening of pints for later that night. They
were intent on getting an early start on the drinks. The last part
of the group spent the remainder of the day touring the Latin Quarter.
We all managed to meet together a few hours later at Coolin, where we enjoyed
a night of talking & dancing. For many people the wedding was
a reunion from past years - the Chicago guys, the MIT friends, the Penn
friends, family, etc. etc. It was a great opportunity to catch up
on both old times and recent news with everyone. Cecilia and I once
again departed at 1am, to try and get sufficient sleep before the big day.
Once again a large portion of the group decided to stay out late.
Some images from the day:
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Fontainebleau
& the Wedding Day
We arrived in Fontainebleau under blue skies, picked up a few last-minute items (i.e. alcohol for the party), and headed for the chateau to prepare. We had a quick lunch of sandwiches on the steps of the chateau, and finished putting the final touches on the dining room and garden setup. The leaves had started to fall since the last time we were there, and the autumn colors were in full effect. We did not clean up the ceremony area, but decided to leave the ground and surroundings as we had found it.
We headed back to the hotel in town where I said goodbye to Cecilia
- she headed upstairs to her mother's room to prepare, and the next time
that I would see her would be at the alter. I dropped by the other
hotel to greet the arriving busload of guests, planned a strategy with
my groomsmen, then went back to my room to shower and pack. It was
funny being alone so close to such a big event, and I was actually happy
to be able to get away and take some time to think and mentally prepare
for the rest of the day. A few images from the morning:
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At 3pm I picked up Vic, Mark, Baker, and Baker’s wife MC, and we drove over to the chateau. We made all last minute changes to the setup, and helped the string trio to setup next to the ceremony location in the garden. I went inside to change into my new suit, and left the rest of the guys to straighten up and wait for the bus to arrive. At 5:00pm, as I was still adjusting my tie, I saw the group walk through the front gates. I went outside to greet everyone, and walked them around to the rear of the chateau. The trio started playing, and the day had begun.
Just before 5:30pm Cecilia and her mother and my parents arrived in
their rental car. Cecilia was dropped off at the front door of the
chateau, where no one would see her. Nancy dropped my parents off
with me outside the rear doors of the chateau. We took our positions,
and waited for the ceremony to begin. At 5:45, with all the guests
seated, the trio began to play Pachebel’s Canon – the queue for me to walk
the aisle with my parents. We rolled the fifty meters from the chateau
to the garden, then up the aisle, and to the front. Vic and Any followed
shortly behind us, they lit the candles at the alter, and took their positions.
A minute went by before Cecilia and her parents emerged from the top of
the chateau stairs, and descended down to the garden, down the aisle, to
join me at the alter. Cecilia looked great. I will not provide
all of the ceremony details here, but feel free to read the full
ceremony script. The script includes all ceremony details, from
the Mi Adir blessing by my mother, to the blessing over the wine done by
my sister, to a poem reading by
Cecilia's mother. Also see the ceremony
brochure that was handed out to all guests. To create the script
we started with an audio recording of my parents wedding ceremony from
thirty-five years ago, then added our own words and traditions, and modified
the dialogue to fit us perfectly. Since the ceremony was for symbolic
purposes only, and was not religiously based, it was at first not clear
who to choose to lead it! About a month before the wedding Cecilia
and I agreed that we would ask M. Cordon, the chateau proprietor, to be
our master of ceremony. During our last visit to the chateau we asked
him - he happily accepted, but was a bit nervous about performing well
in English. We practiced the script one time over the phone the week
beforehand, and we were confident that he would do just fine. As
M. Cordon started the ceremony by welcoming all of the guests, we knew
that we had made a good choice. A few images from the ceremony:
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With the break of a glass and a kiss the ceremony was finished, and
we walked back down the aisle together. Moments later everyone was
gathered in the grassy area just behind the ceremony, where we greeted
all of the guests wishing to congratulate us. We walked together
back around to the front of the chateau where the caterer was waiting at
the reception. An incredible number of digital cameras emerged from
everyone's pockets, and a good half hour of pictures ensued. Happy
birthday was sung for Cecilia first in Swedish, then followed by versions
in Spanish, English, German and French! M. Cordon offered rides around
the moat in a small row boat, and everyone enjoyed a glass of champagne
as the sun began to set over the forest. Images from the reception:
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The sun began to set, and at 8pm the caterer ushered everyone in for dinner. The dinner was studded by a variety of creative moments, including:
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Three hours and a multitude of courses later the dinner ended, and everyone
was freed to wander the garden and go downstairs for dancing and more drinks.
The 
party
lasted well into the night, and was highlighted by more classic moments,
including:
Unplanned first dance to Madonna's song “Material Girl”. We had
intentionally planned to avoid a formal first dance, but were ultimately
forced into it by a few of the guests.
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friends
were probably out and about around the hotel. We dressed and went
downstairs to find many people lingering around the cafes adjacent to the
hotel. We sat down for coffee and reminisced about the good times
and stories from the previous night.
We spent the early afternoon either at the café or walking around the gardens of the Fontainebleau Chateau. It was again a lovely fall afternoon, and the temperature was still warm enough that we did not even need a jacket. At 3pm the group bus returned to pick everyone up, and Cecilia and I took our family home in the rental cars. We made it back to Paris with no problems, and dropped everyone off at the apartment. I dropped by the Ibis hotel to see how everyone was doing, and organized another dinner picnic at the Eiffel Tower park for that evening. It had worked so well the first time that we decided that we should repeat the performance. We had dinner at home with the family, and then walked over to the park. Many people planned to leave the following morning, so it was a chance to talk more and say final good-byes. We were home by 1am, and sound asleep within minutes.
Monday morning I woke up after a solid eight hours of undisturbed sleep,
my first good night's sleep in over a week. I felt much revived.
I had also scheduled Monday and Tuesday off for vacation, to spend more
quality time with my parents before they left on Wednesday. We had
dinner that night at Amy's house with the remaining group of friends.
On Tuesday I hung out with my parents on the Champs Elysee, where they
had check into the Marriot Hotel for their last two nights of their visit.
They wanted to give our friends a chance to take advantage of the free
lodging at our apartment. Tuesday night we had a quiet dinner at
their hotel, and then I wished them goodbye. That night we went to
the Moosehead, a Canadian bar just around the corner from Coolin (we never
stray very far from Coolin). On Wednesday morning I went back to
work, and was greeted with many congrats and good reviews of the wedding
from my team. A few images from the post-wedding activities:
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We had many guests in and around the apartment for the next two weeks, as many people had decided to take a European vacation following the wedding. Greg and MC Baker stayed with us for the week after the wedding, which was a great chance to really catch up with all of their adventures and stories from the past few years. My sister also stuck around for the following week, the longest time we have had together in many years. Steve Villareal and Tareen were the last official wedding visitors, and they left our apartment on Sunday morning, October 5th. After twenty-five days with guests at our apartment, Cecilia and I were finally alone in Paris to enjoy the start of our marriage. It is an incredible feeling to have everyone that means something to you, but from various different times and stages in your life, to be there with you in the same place and at the same moment in time. Never again will we have the chance to get everyone together like this, and we will always cherish and savor the wedding weekend.